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You don't need to be broke to want to bang stuff found around your pad. If you're a dude all you need is a healthy dose of testosterone and curiosity — and maybe some lube. As I'm sure many of you guys have already discovered, that means the majority of the contents of your refrigerator, cabinets and most of your personal belongings can be masturbatory tools.

And ladies — want to know how to find your own homemade sex toys? Check out this list for some sexy suggestions. Peel it and remove the fruit or cut the tip off and squirt the inside out, then rinse the Black teen girls locker room with warm water and fill it with lube.

Wrap the sections around your member, or shove your load into the hole, and pump. Prior to playtime you can put the skin in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up, just be careful not to leave it in too long and burn yourself. Stack them on top of each other or side-by-side and fluff. Lie on top and go to town. You also can How to beat your dick just one; mold it around your penis and thrust against it.

Standing in the living room, rest your wiener behind the couch cushion that leans against the backside of the sofa, or you can kneel and slip it under the seat pad. Crammed in between, you control the resistance as you press into the tight crevice. Plush carpet, sheets gathered, or How to beat your dick piled up in a ball are all totally fuck-able. You can use any sock sleeve as a cum-receptacle, or when you're in the shower hang a hot wet towel around your wanker to cocoon it in moist warm weight.

Choose the style that fits your manhood and then put a condom, latex glove, or other protective sheath — filled with lube! Flip the open end over the top and secure with a rubber band or tape so it stays in place. You can hold the cylinder in your hand or wedge it between your mattresses or your couch.

Cock-condiments are more pleasurable when warmed slightly in the microwave; but make sure you test the temperature first before putting your prick into anything hot.

Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other. Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw How to beat your dick squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob.

Select a jar and fill it with stewed tomatoes, Spaghetti O's, mac-n-cheese, cottage cheese, oatmeal or peanut butter. Cover the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, cut a hole and you're ready to go.

You can also turn your salami into a sandwich by slapping How to beat your dick between two pieces of bread, bologna, chicken breast, chicken skin, lamb kebob, spam, liver, lox, or steak. Grab your meal two-fisted, squeeze and squirt. How to beat your dick Baggie. Pick your size from snack to storagefill it with Crisco, Vaseline, Jell-O or banana pulp, and then stuff it with your meat. Hold the package in your preferred hand or cram everything under a cushion, then pleasure yourself to completion.

Rubber Gloves. When you want to feel like someone else is giving you the greatest reach-around of your life, don a latex sheath on your own hand before whacking off. Use your favorite lubricant unless you're into medical fetishes, or the sensation of being examined at the doctor's office.

If you do it anyway, beware that peeing and ejaculating may be painful for several days, but the stinging will subside. Food Food See all. Music See all. Entertainment See all. Arts See all. This Week November 22, Culture See all.

Podcast See all. Celebrating 35 Years of Genghis Cohen on the L. Weekly Weekly Podcast November 20, Plugging in with Ibn Jasper on the How to beat your dick. Weekly Weekly Podcast November 6, Vibing with CJ Tate on the L. Weekly Weekly How to beat your dick October 8, Cannabis See all. Sam Phillips November 22, She figured it out. What took you so long? All of this junk can feel great on your junk. How to beat your dick lady, lend him Twin girls fuck with strapon little mouth lube would ya?


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